'As a child, I relished the thought of my life happening just as it does in a Disney movie. Ya know, those Princess movies, where I’m either Cinderella, Beauty, Jasmine or even Ariel, waiting for my Prince Charming to come and swoop me up off of my feet and we live ‘happily ever after’. I was so much in love with all of those stories that from the time I was in Primary School I started looking for who I wanted my soul mate to be, so much that I had a primary school crush from the time I was in Class 1 until Class 4; crazy huh? Then we went to two different Secondary Schools and as I got older, my idea of Prince Charming started to change. Well, that and the fact that teenaged life is the most cut throat it could possibly get and puberty chose not to spare me. So as my body and developed, so did my brain and in 3rd form I started to list all of the qualities that my Prince Charming must have. He had to be first of all charming and dashing, ya know, one of those guys that his shoes matched his shirt and his shirt matched his hat, and he always smells good, yup, one of those. He had to be tall and slim and fair skinned (I know, how superficial could I have been) and good teeth, can’t talk to a guy with crooked teeth. Oh, and he had to be older, not a lot older, just older. And I went through my teenaged years thinking ‘is this what it’s supposed to be, because I am not having any luck, where is my Prince Charming?’ Needless to say, the fact that I was a head strong individual didn’t make it any better either, but as we all know, teenaged life isn’t supposed to be a fairy tale, we struggle with identity issues, self-esteem problems and puberty, let’s not forget puberty (Sometimes I think we’re forever going through puberty, just by different names, mid-life crisis, menopause, yup, it’s all the same!)
My Secondary School life then faded and when I entered BCC, I had a totally different outlook on life and the idea of my ‘Prince Charming’. I still wanted a prince, I really did, but my standards and criteria changed as well. He still had to be tall, and he still had to be handsome but he didn’t have to be slim anymore. By then I was fully into sports and was an avid hockey player and sports enthusiast, so I wanted me one of those athletic types, you know what I mean, the broad shoulders and washboard abs and defined thighs, the kind that looks like it was sculpted by the Gods. I’m getting chills just sitting here writing about it. But he did have to at least play a sport and work, not someone who was the same age as me, at college, not knowing what they wanted to do with the rest of their life. Throughout those two years, I was plagued with bad break-ups and I thought, ‘goodness Disney, I’m starting to think he doesn’t exist’ and then I met this guy, I’ll never forget him. I thought it was over and that my search for my Prince was done and it was like heaven. Every time I was around him and he said ‘I love you’, I felt chills about my body and I knew I had found what I was searching for and that would be it. So that lasted for six months, yes, I said it, six months; we broke up due to ‘problems’ in our relationship. Funny thing is, I didn’t even know we were having problems, I guess I was too caught up in the fairy tale that was love between him and I. As I entered UWI, my ideals changed once more, and I now wanted a King, a Prince just wasn’t going to do, I mean after all, if you follow those stories anyway, the King is the one who makes all the important decisions and at any rate has to approve the union of the Prince and his love. So why not skip out the middle man and go for the ‘big fish’, or so I thought. And as I struggled once again with my own identity issues and my own realisations that I have no idea anymore what I want to do with my life, I realised that, that was how I treated my relationships and that is when I found out that all I needed was someone to accept me for me, and someone who could love me for the person that I am. I had been so caught up in this fairy tale that when reality hit me, I didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s then that I realised that we have to make our own ‘happily ever after’. It will not happen just as it does in the books and the movies and it probably won’t be the Prince that you see there either. We cannot find happiness and love with someone else if we first do not love ourselves. It’s a process that takes time, and as time passes we learn to grow through those experiences. As I look back on how I viewed things, even just a few years ago, I ask myself, but would it have been different if I loved me first. The other thing that we need to realise is that relationships are not one – sided, there are two people who have decided to be together, therefore it should be a joint effort where both parties at least try to make 50/50. Still, love for self, should always come first. Ladies, my young, beautiful and talented ladies love yourselves, because, truth is, if not for us, the world would cease to exist, why do you think they call it ‘Mother Nature’? And guys, you are the roots that we rely on for a solid foundation, love yourselves, if not for you, we would be struggling organisms looking for that push to grow.
Stay blessed my people and remember, ‘happily ever after’ does exist, love you for the wonderful human beings that you are and stop letting Disney tell you who your Prince or Princess should be. Still watch their movies though; they have the best movies ever!'
Not much of a difference now maybe. Still a Disney fanatic and I believe in Prince Charming. His name is Kyle D.
Love and Light.
Vernee Amanda Marianne
