"We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls,
"You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man."
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social,Political,and economic equality of the sexes"
- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Thought this one was gonna be dicey and spicy because of the title right? WRONG!
I often sit baffled at the way our young people carry themselves, especially our girls. We have raised them in a misogynistic society. WE have taught them to bow down a the feet of men, and do their bidding. We have taught them that the only way to get ahead in life is to give up piece of themselves;- to offer their sexuality as a means of payment for goods and services received.
How can we talk about social, emotional and mental equality of the sexes when we practically sell our girls to the industry. We plaster them to compete with each other in pageants with the skimpiest swimwear or little to no clothes, we teach them to fight not for their children and the rights of their child, but for men, for their 'baby daddies'. How is that fair?
We pit our boys against each other to see who can outshine who. Who can afford the latest gear, the biggest phone, the newest pair of Jordans, but we cannot pit them against each other with who has the most degrees, or the most work experience. By 17 my CV already had at least 6 jobs on it. What 17 year old, male or female can say that now.
The parents of this generation do not have the same ideologies of the parents of my generation and truth is, for that child to not fall to the ills of society, they just need some guidance, or some love. Someone to give them a hug, to say I love you. To not be a damn friend but to be a parent.
Look at what we are doing to our kids. Double standards as it relates to sex and sexuality and then the old people love to shout 'how the young people get so?', because you chose to watch us suffer, not lend a helping hand. I don't want my kids' idols to be the Kardashians or half of these whack ass role models out there. I want my kids' idols to be Nelson, Kofi Anaan, Mia, Che, Marcus Garvey, Martin Luther, Malcolm X, Walter Rodney, George Lamming, Frantz Fanon, Ralph Gonsalves, Fidel, Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, Betty Friedman, Marianne Weber and so much more, but the only way for that to happen is if I teach them.
Sex and Sexuality: it pains to say that from the misogynistic society that we live in, this will be forever a waging war. Until we teach our girls to see each other for what they can learn, through a book or maybe someone sharing their life experiences, or for us to stop feeding the patriarchal mind. Our boys can achieve so much if we just give them the time. Do you know how many young men at HMP have said to me 'if only somebody used to check fuh me'. Sorry if I sound like a feminist. Wait, hold up, no, I'm not sorry, I claim it. I definitely am a Feminist. I will forever fight for the equality of the sexes. Our youth are suffering, will we let it continue into generations to come?
The ever so not impressed;-
Vernee Amanda Marianne
Love and Light
