Last night I left the house for about a hr and a half. I was at least five minutes away from home and could've come back at anytime. Either between that hr and a half I was gone, or the time I came back home and my father clearly in his sleepy state couldn't be bothered to remember to tell me, but my biological grandfather passed away. This was a man of whom I knew yes, but had absolutely no relationship with. By my recollections, even though only meeting him when I was 11, he had never called me by my actual name. A couple of years ago, he was sick and when I visited him in the hospital with my mother, he didn't even know who I was. This troubled me at first, but to be honest, I couldn't have been bothered because he was never the man I knew as my grandfather. In my eyes, for the 26 years I have been alive, my grandfather has been my grandmother's husband, because he was there, because he did and does all the things grandfathers do. Out of respect, (and mostly because I didn't know what else to call him) I referred to my mother's father as granddaddy, and because calling him Willie just never sat right with me.
To be honest, this sounds absolutely horrible but his death does not affect me in any way and that's mostly because he was a horrible father to my mother and my Aunt and in speaking to my cousin, grandmother, mother and the one other person I normally vent things like that to him about, I have learned something today. We all have a legacy we want to leave. I want for my life to be reflected as one that people found peace within me, that I affected them in great way, that because of me they said to themselves they could. I want my legacy to be one of greatness. There will be some who have crossed my path that I might not have seen eye to eye with, but for others, I want to impact my people, my brothers and sisters, no matter what race, colour or creed.
I have no idea what legacy Willie has left, nor am I the least bit bothered, but then it brought me to the thoughts of my own father. The kind of man he is, the lessons he instilled in us and the type of people we are today. My daddy and he will forever until death do us part will be yes DADDY not dad, or pops, or father, but daddy, is one of the best fathers someone could have asked for. He is supportive, kind, lackadaisical, downright hilarious, sometimes completely immoral but genuinely genuine. Papa Smurf might have made errors in his past and he might have 4 children from 3 different women which could classify itself to 'Village Ram' syndrome, but what makes it stand apart from that, is that he has been married to one of these women for 33 years, and that none of my brothers, the oldest being 37 can say that their father has not been a stellar one.
What I learned on a Tuesday afternoon, is that while we are so consumed with the way we live our lives, we must also be aware of the legacies we leave behind, whether it be our own, or those of our children. I have learned that fathers NEED to be an essential part in the lives of their children especially their daughters, to be their protector, their confidant, their knight in shining armour. I have learned that blood is just that, blood, but you can find even more happiness in those who are not your blood, but those that treat you as though you are their kin, as though you were and are part of them.
'Fathers be good to your daughters, for daughters will love like they do, girls become lovers, who turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters too'.
With many words left unsaid...
Love and Light
'May the road rise to meet you'
Plain ol' LabellaVee
