Love Is A Loaded Word

Ahhhh, to be grown and bitter. What a lovely combination! 

He said love is a loaded word. Ha! Or an excuse to get what you want? But what is love? Really what is it?

Why should I wake up every morning with anger in my heart, why should tears pour out of my eyes almost every day? Why should I feel abandoned and alone? Why can't I find someone to accept me for all of my flaws and goodness and run with them? 

But Alas!

Love is a loaded word.

I no longer know what it means to love. Well, that kind of love. I love my family, I love my friends, and I want to love ALL people, even the stupid ones, but that must come from love within right? So, finding love within. Finding love that dwells inside of me, finding love about and encompassing me. Makes you wonder, what now? 

Love is a loaded word. 

Love is a loaded word.

Mmm, love is a loaded word.

My 2 cents in a sea full of Men....

Pros and Cons to legalising Marijuana

Many can argue that smoking marijuana is tearing down the moral fabric of society, but what we need to think about is why they would say that. 

There's the stigma that it causes more bad than good and that's what we're here to argue.

Yes it can be said that marijuana leads to societal ills, can cause chemical imbalances, damage brain cells and the biggest topic at hand, the fact that it fuels an illegal drug trade and a lucrative one at that. In Barbados and throughout the Caribbean, the use and sale of illegal drugs has always been a serious problem, but let us look at certain things.

It might more benefit us to legalise marijuana than to keep it illegal. For example, how is it possible that the plant on which Marijuana comes from, that being the 'hemp' plant is used around the world for manufacturing and that indeed is not illegal? Is it because it's not being smoked or consumed via tea. The fact of the matter is that people love to rebel against the system, i.e. the man, and these things will happen because it is human nature.

Statiscally, marijuana is the most used illegal drug, but causes less harmful effects. Yes, based on the genetic make up of an individual, it can indeed cause chemical imbalances, and my work as a counsellor as well as working with young people has shown that to me. Yet, alcohol, a legal substance has more damaging effects than that of marijuana and most other illegal drugs. It damages the liver, eats away at the stomach lining, can cause cancer etc. A study done by the NCSA amongst secondary schools in Barbados with the exception of one school, as well as tertiary institutions showed that 94% of respondents consume low content alcohol, 79% high content alcohol, 63% marijuana and 59% medium content alcohol, wow, just a 4% difference. Any time a country can have an act as it relates to alcohol that does not stipulate any actual legal drinking age nor has it been changed since implementation in 1957, realising that alcohol causes more health and safety damages than marijuana cannot be thinking about the public health safety of its people. 

Meanwhile it has been scientifically proven that marijuana has more healing properties, saying that it has and is being prescribed as glaucoma medication, pain, nausea and vomiting, loss of appetite, muscle tension and spasms, insomnia and even to treat depression,(Health and how Stuff works)which is almost amazing because some of these symptoms practitioners will say can be caused by marijuana, i.e. Nausea and depression. If so, why is it increasingly being prescribed medicinally? Why are more countries lobbying for it to be legalized. Ralph Gonsalves stood at this same university, just next door in the lecture theatres a couple weeks ago and said, re the US , 'if they cannot impose federal law within your own country with regards to medical marijuana, how can you tell me what to do in mine'.

Policies are not working, there is no common ground and let's be realistic, legalising marijuana might actually bring about more benefits from a criminological standpoint via decriminalization. The drug trade as it relates to marijuana is seen as a tight end, big fish and pawns in water business. Let's think about it this way, if we legalise it, it means anyone can sell it, ANYONE, taking away from the criminal aspect of it. We minimize the possibility of turf wars and retaliation killings. It's almost as we though take away the possibility of the amount of arrests that arise. Already our prison population as it relates to men and drug traffickers whether female or male, is way too high for our prisons (prisons? wait! we only have one!)to handle. And most offences are those of a drug related nature. Legalising marijuana can take away that pressure and thus reduce the amount of tax payers dollars spent each year to feed and clothe prisoners. 

Also, let's look at Labelling Theory. Don't you think that if you continuously say that someone who smokes marijuana is a criminal, that you project that label unto them thus creating a criminal? Can I then say that we, the society creates criminals and not genetic and biological make up? Yes, predecessors exist, yes we are products of our environment, but we need to learn that we cannot continue from this aspect. 

Shall I delve into the agricultural benefits since our agricultural system is failing or should I leave that to the imagination and how much money could be saved by not only those bring in the substance, but tax payers who pay the Coast Guard and the RBPF. 

To sum it up, in my opinion there are more pros than cons, from both a criminological and psychological aspect. Yes there will always be that fear of the chemical imbalance and what it can do to those who consume it psychologically, but at any rate on the whole, we need be wary of the mental health of our people, whether young or old. This is the age of modernisation and globalization. Anything can happen. Anything.

What I learned on a Tuesday Afternoon

Last night I left the house for about a hr and a half. I was at least five minutes away from home and could've come back at anytime. Either between that hr and a half I was gone, or the time I came back home and my father clearly in his sleepy state couldn't be bothered to remember to tell me, but my biological grandfather passed away. This was a man of whom I knew yes, but had absolutely no relationship with. By my recollections, even though only meeting him when I was 11, he had never called me by my actual name. A couple of years ago, he was sick and when I visited him in the hospital with my mother, he didn't even know who I was. This troubled me at first, but to be honest, I couldn't have been bothered because he was never the man I knew as my grandfather. In my eyes, for the 26 years I have been alive, my grandfather has been my grandmother's husband, because he was there, because he did and does all the things grandfathers do. Out of respect, (and mostly because I didn't know what else to call him) I referred to my mother's father as granddaddy, and because calling him Willie just never sat right with me. 

To be honest, this sounds absolutely horrible but his death does not affect me in any way and that's mostly because he was a horrible father to my mother and my Aunt and in speaking to my cousin, grandmother, mother and the one other person I normally vent things like that to him about, I have learned something today. We all have a legacy we want to leave. I want for my life to be reflected as one that people found peace within me, that I affected them in great way, that because of me they said to themselves they could. I want my legacy to be one of greatness. There will be some who have crossed my path that I might not have seen eye to eye with, but for others, I want to impact my people, my brothers and sisters, no matter what race, colour or creed.

I have no idea what legacy Willie has left, nor am I the least bit bothered, but then it brought me to the thoughts of my own father. The kind of man he is, the lessons he instilled in us and the type of people we are today. My daddy and he will forever until death do us part will be yes DADDY not dad, or pops, or father, but daddy, is one of the best fathers someone could have asked for. He is supportive, kind, lackadaisical, downright hilarious, sometimes completely immoral but genuinely genuine. Papa Smurf might have made errors in his past and he might have 4 children from 3 different women which could classify itself to 'Village Ram' syndrome, but what makes it stand apart from that, is that he has been married to one of these women for 33 years, and that none of my brothers, the oldest being 37 can say that their father has not been a stellar one. 

What I learned on a Tuesday afternoon, is that while we are so consumed with the way we live our lives, we must also be aware of the legacies we leave behind, whether it be our own, or those of our children. I have learned that fathers NEED to be an essential part in the lives of their children especially their daughters, to be their protector, their confidant, their knight in shining armour. I have learned that blood is just that, blood, but you can find even more happiness in those who are not your blood, but those that treat you as though you are their kin, as though you were and are part of them. 

'Fathers be good to your daughters, for daughters will love like they do, girls become lovers, who turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters too'.

With many words left unsaid...

Love and Light

'May the road rise to meet you'

Plain ol' LabellaVee

It's A Mad World

So many young people have committed suicide within this country in the past two weeks, that it's beginning to get absolutely scary. 

Without divulging much about myself, I suffer from mental heath issues and I've chosen to seek professional help to deal with these issues, but what about those that we leave by the wayside? What about those who desperately seek someone to talk to, or someone to be around? What about those who seek attention and love? 

Hearing some of the stories behind these deaths are alarming, because these people just needed someone to reach out to them, to help them, to be there for them. Now I know what it's like to have endless people around you and rooting for you and still feeling like there is no reason for you to exist, but at the same time, it was a cry for help. A cry for someone to notice that I wasn't well and that I needed treatment.

I have a friend who's tried to commit suicide about 10 times thus far and has not succeeded any of those times, but that was her cry and to a certain extent she still hasn't gotten the help she needs. We need to encourage our young people to talk to someone, even if it's a friend, even if it's a doctor at a polyclinic. We cannot continue to let our young people fall by the wayside in feeling that their only way out of their problems is death. 

I urge you, my fellow people, not just for me because I know what it's like, but for every Barbadian youth who is growing up in the age of technology and not face to face contact, to reach out to anyone that you see is having a problem. Don't class it up as, 'oh, wha know she head ain good', or 'man she/he would gotta know', or 'dem would be only be an idiot to kill themselves'. Talk to them, help them, let's avoid another senseless death, because when we all die out, who will be left? 

With many words left unsaid, I was here. 

Not LaBellaVee, just regular Vernee.

'May the road rise to meet you'

Colourless

For every child, of every nation, of every colour, class and creed: this is for you.

I absolutely love the youth. I might always be on their back about stupid decisions they make but they're our future so we must love them. We must guide and nurture them, we must teach them right from wrong, we must show them the meaning of justice and love, not hunt them down in streets like animals. 

The verdict for the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin trial has disgusted me. Not for reasons of colour, but for perversions of justice. How is any child going to feel safe in their community knowing that there is always someone lurking, someone always out to get them, someone who will always judge them by colour and class and the clothes on their backs? It's sad to know that even in the 21st Century with all the modern and technical advances made by man that we set ourselves back to Stone Age practices. How are mothers and fathers supposed to feel when the killers of their suns (yes I said sun) and daughters are set free? How are they to cope? 

Malala Yousafzai is a young Palestinian girl, only turned 16 two days ago, was shot and left for dead by Taliban rebels because she was an advocate for education for girls. I'Akobi Maloney was a young budding engineer who fell to his death 5 years ago in mysterious circumstances in St.Lucy Barbados. Trayvon Martin was a 16 year old regular kid who was walking home from buying his brother Skittles and was shot to death. Thousands of Syrian children die each day from war, child soldiers are rampant in some African states, it's not about colour, where is the justice for them. Will there ever be justice? We are all of these people, some of us have children, some of us want children and what's the point of living in fear when we can live in love? 

I pray for justice for each and every one of you, I pray for this generation, I pray for my children to come, I pray for my friend's children and I pray for all of you. 

Love and Light. 

May The Road Rise To Meet You.

Today, I'm just plain ol' Vernée... Just Vernée.

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!

This is my most controversial, sexual piece to date. I mean really, I've never actually done a blog about anything with sexual content, but this one comes from a deep place in my heart and vagina,(I know that sounded weird) and this is a message from all women, to all men and vice versa. 

Ain't shit dick?!?! Ain't nobody got time for that pardna!

Women like to know that when they enter a sexual relationship with someone, he takes the time out to get to know her body, figure out what she likes from what she doesn't like and let her body tell him all he needs to know. But nowadays, these niggas clearly ain't recognising! It's *juck down, juck down, wham bam, thank you ma'am*, and that is NOT cutting it!

Now women, at the same time, if you can't pleasure yourself, a man won't be able to, so you as well have to explore the workings of your body, to gauge what it is you would love a man to do to you. 

This doesn't only go for men though, women, you gotta know how to please your man, or at least the dude you're fucking. Truth is, some people might like plain ole' vanilla, but others like rocky road, strawberry swirls and chocolate chips (I actually thought about Cheffette ice-cream flavours just now, I blame it on the sugar deficiency I've been having). This is the 21st Century, and vanilla isn't gonna cut it anymore, so you have to figure out ways to spice it up. Nibble, bite, tie up, foreplay, it's all in the program, but you can't expect him to do all the work. Sex is a two way thing, he feeds off of your energy the same way you feed off his.

Moral of this story, seriously, don't be giving me a whole bunch of chat about 'you would do this and you would do that', make me curious and then waste a good half hr of my time, if even so much. Figure me out first, take a body lesson, cuz I ain't got time to waste on ain't shit dick, just like you ain't got time to waste on ain't shit pussy (yeah, I said it!)

Love and Light!

*May The Road Rise To Meet You*

Let's Make Intellectual Intercourse

Now anyone who knows me knows that I enjoy a good laugh, and I do mean a hearty good laugh. But there comes a point in time where I want more than that, I want to be made love to; intellectually. 

We all at some point want to be mentally stimulated where there's thought provoking conversation, whether it be about religion, politics, science, the earth, crime or anything of the sort. I want to be able to sit and discuss a good book, and air my views on the current economic situation with someone or people who enjoy doing the same. Let's throw out our creative ideas and develop a craft project, or let's just sit and talk about what might lie beyond the deep blue seas of the ocean. 

It's not always about fun and games, and we need to surround ourselves with those who can challenge us mentally and emotionally and we need to understand that while everyone might not think along our personal intellectual levels, we still need to give them a chance (one chance at least).

So, how about it, you and I? Yes you, you sir, the gentleman with the pretty mouth, how's about we make some nice, sexy intellectual love.

Love and Light.

*May the road rise to meet you*